Rebeka's Letter to her family & friends

 Per Arbua is Celtic for "Through Difference". This is the crest for Clan MacIntrye, my heritage, lineage, etc whatever. I have undertaken a journey in genealogy to learn more about where it exactly is that I come from. It's an interesting journey and I find it interesting that through all the differences that my family may have had or has with me, they have shown me something unexpected. Support and Love. 

This is my letter that I drafted after a very long and painful time of trying to come to terms with who and what I exactly am.. Some family & friends have seen this, some  haven't. The reason why I am putting this online is so that those of my friends that just happen to cruise by can see why and how I was the was I was when growing up. Most of my family that knows has been told upfront and personal like cause I thought they deserved at least that much of an explanation for years and years of withdrawal, pain, & anger... The family that hasn't seen this or that doesn't know about me (and there are a few), the reason I am telling you this way is because I know for a distinct fact that you won't accept this and that is something that you are going to have to come to terms with.. If you can't come to terms with this well then I am not going to lose sleep over the fact that you can't accept someone for who they are instead of what gender they show.

Thank you to my family for finally realizing that I am who I am and accepting me for that lil fact of life.. You have no idea how much that means to me.. I don't know how much you folks visiting my website believe in dreams or in karma, but I'd also like to thank my Great - Great Grandmother & Grandfather for the dream of acceptance. Thank you for the inspiration to follow my dreams. 

Luvs you Gram & Gramps, I miss you both

Dear Family and Friends,

For years and years there has been something that I have been afraid of for most of my life and that is to tell you some of my deepest thoughts. The reason I have been afraid to come forward before now is because of fear of rejections as well as fear of reprisal from the society we live in. It   has come to me in deep deep contemplation of finding who and what I really am. I know that some of you may not be able to accept what I am, about to tell you in this letter. That is not my concern, that is something you will have to come to terms with. Either you will accept it or you won't, right now with the way I feel I could care less. I have learned that in society a person will accept you or they won't accept you and it is useless to try and change their opinions of you. I'm really tired of living a lie to many of you. I know this sounds egotistical of me but there is something that I have learned during the past few years and that is one should not live up to others expectations according to societies *norms* if you will. Another thing that I've learned since I was a lil child is that children can be the most vicious people on the face of the earth because they are so innocent and not much gets by them. I'm the product of a generation lost. Growing up I had to live with few things that most normal kids don't have to contend with and that is Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (Osteochondramatosis) and a temper that was par none to anyone you probably ever knew, plus something that was missing from me my entire life and a learning disability. My hereditary bone disease compiled with all the crap that I had to put up with from the people I had to grow up with really pissed me off. That little piece of me that was missing is no longer, I have found it and embraced it and become the person I have always dreamt of being every time I look into the mirror. The accomplishments that I have achieved so far in my life was to please all of you and to show you that I could raise above whatever you could ever do. There are many reasons why I wanted to show people up and I did. I'll admit it and be the first to admit that I liked getting good grades in school without really trying to hard even though I had a learning disability. That is the reason I loved music so much as a child. That is also the reason I got into radio and eventually moved back to Northeast Ohio, to show you all I did make it. During that time though I learned alot of valuable lessons about myself as well as fame & popularity, friendship & love. I still loved my job and I still do love my job and will eventually get back into the radio industry once again as an "On Air* personality but it will be within my own time frame and on my terms. Til then I am content with what I am doing. There are a few things that I must take care of before I can do that and if the situation does arise before I get done what I want to accomplish, well then it should turn out to be a very interesting ride for me and my listeners as well as family and friends.

I mentioned before that I grew up with many afflictions as well as adversaries in my life well there is one more thing that I haven't mentioned and that is the reason for this letter. Throughout my life without knowing it I have always thrown out subtle little hints and especially for the past 3 years I have become so androgynous. I was thinking to myself the other day while walking my pooch and alot of things started making sense. Those subtle little hints I am not sure if you picked up on or not and if you did great, I am glad that I finally got your attention subtly with my actions because that was my intent. Now it is time to finally let it all out and let the pebbles fall where they may. I have told most of my mothers side of the family about what and who I am with alot of acceptance. For that I am very fortunate and I am very happy. I have told a few people on my fathers side of my family and there has been some acceptance I only hope that my father and the rest of the side of his family that doesn't know can support me in my decision.

To my friends and family the easiest way for me to do this is up front and in your face. All of my family and all of my friends have known me to be that kind of a person with some tact in presenting things in a conservative yet bold manner. It comes from being behind the microphone all these years. I am a transsexual. I am sorry to have let you all down but this is my choice and my choice alone. It's my life and if you want to e part of my life, great!! If you don't I will understand and go on living *MY* life.

Thank you for your time in reading this letter and I hope that you can understand where I am coming from. It's taken me twenty some years to come to terms with all my demons and now that I have, I am about to blossom into someone that I have always felt I have been but afraid to show it as well as express it